THE WIND OF CHANGE, painting done by my Mom….
Sitting between two chairs is not nice. Making choices is a demanding task, it is nerve wrecking and confusing. And it is one subject I detest to the utmost.
Yet it is what we do throughout our whole lifespans, isn’t it? Taking choices and always being afraid of picking the wrong ones.
My earliest decision I had to make was that to tell where I want to live, after the divorce of my parents. Do I want to stay with my father or do I want to move to my mother. This was not an easy one and I think this carved my distaste for choosing a path into stone.
But this is a life learning process and I guess everybody has to undergo this task, no exceptions.
Recently I found myself sitting between two chairs again. I had to make a choice of where I want to head in life and what occupation is the right option to take me there.
Here I have a secure job, monthly salary, working from 8-5. Something a lot of people would dream off.
Until my son died a few month’ ago, since then my perception of security, beliefs, money, safety, materialization, has been crushed. Taken away from me, everything I believed in, was proud off, what mattered to me was gone. Most of all my faith… my faith in God, in life, in myself.
My entire secure and safety little happy world was but a horrible place to be for me. Nothing matched anymore.
It took a lot of tears, sleepless nights and incredible strength to pick up all the pieces and ensemble them. Now I have created my own, different little world. One that fits me, one where I take the courage to do what I love to do, what I feel I must do, one I am content with, one that may be disliked and will not fit a few other people around me, but this is no longer my concern, it is their choices, they took the path they are on now, with or without me. And that is fine.
I still take only tiny steps into my new world, may be thrown back by choices or incidences a few times, but be strong enough to dust of the dirt, stand up and go on again.
So what do my recent choice entail?
I will leave my secure 5-8 job and try to find my way back into the property world. I will start again as an estate agent and I am faithful that I will succeed this time, as I believe in God, the angels and myself again.
We together will try our best and should this choice be but a ‘wrong’ choice, then we have lots of other choices to pick from and move on.
Never be afraid to choose the wrong one, there is no wrong one, take the lesson you had to learn from it and move on to the next, should it not work out the way you expected too.
Make choices which seem right for you at any given moment, believe in yourself and your intuition.
This is how it is and always will be and this is the only way to choose.
What choices did you have to undergo recently?
May you always be strong enough to take the choice that makes your heart sing.
Love and light