It is nearly two weeks now, since my son Frank left home (Windhoek, Namibia) to take a gap year in Germany.
This is the last photo I took of him leaving home, on our way to the air port
and this is a photo of Frank with his older brother Ralph and his father at the airport
Luckily nowadays we have What’s app, FB and Skype to keep in touch daily. Still it was hard to get used to, having again, one ‘man’ less in my daily life. Sitting at his desk in his room, looking at all the photos and deco he positioned on the walls, I decided I can sit here and be gloomy and melancholy every day or do something about it.
So first thing after Frank left, I signed myself into a Yoga course to start with. Today is my second lesson and I am kind of looking forward to it.
People who know me better, can confirm, that this is a huge step forward, especially after the death of Matthias.
I usually sit around at home (when not working), not because I have to, but because I prefer to. I love my home, or used to, but after the death of Matthias coming home, being at home strains me. I feel a shadow overcasting me as soon as I am on my way home or entering it. I feel uncomfortable, restless and unhappy.
I seldom cook anymore, which was the first thing I did after coming home from work, making sure that my men would have a warm meal ready, when they would come home from work.
That’s why I tried so many different art & crafts during the past month, to distract me from the dreariness.
Secondly the book QUANTUM SUCCESS, which one of Ralph’s friend borrowed a few years ago, I already had forgotten about it altogether, turned up again unexpectedly. This was no coincidence, as I do not believe in coincidences.
After reading through a few chapters at once, I suddenly realized again, that I do not need a Frank around me to be happy, I do not need a lot of money to be happy, I do not need a certain lounge set or dinner table to be happy or to have a size 34 figure. These are all things which could enhance my life, but these are not the items I must have before I could be happy. These are all but attachments, I should not cling too, I should not rely on.
Shift your awareness. Breath (Yoga speaking through me already… :)) and be content with what you already have, what is around you and see that all other wishes, hopes and goals fall in place eventually.
You are what your dominate thoughts are, so think happy , think positively, think I am alive, thank you!
Okapuka Ranch near Windhoek, where we had dinner the evening before Frank went to Germany
Have a lovely week,
Just heard that Yoga classes are cancelled for today, so I will do some poses at home and ask my husband to take photos. If something worthwhile comes up, you will see it in the next post.
Love and Light