ONE OF MY PAINTINGS
Monday again and a whole new week before us.
This is the second last week here at the desk at my current work, most of you will know by now, that I gave up my secure 8-5 job and that I am going back into the estate agent business. And I am trying to find out how I feel about it.
At the beginning, shortly after I resigned, I felt great, sure that I have done the right decision. But was aware of the possibility, that this could be only my euphoria, the excitement I felt for all the new tasks and hobbies in my life recently.
I started with scrap booking, buying hordes and hordes of supplies, was enthusiastic for a few weeks, working way over midnight. These were the days, when I couldn’t sleep anyway, due to the trauma of the death of my beloved son Matthias. And suddenly the urge, the excitement and fun was over and I jumped head over heels into the next project: painting.
Again, I bought lots and lots of stuff, painted my heart out and soon, this phase was over again as well. Next project: candles.
I always was sure, that each craft was a hobby I would do for longer, but after a few projects, I felt the restlessness again inside me, to move on, to find something worthwhile to…I don’t know… maybe to distract me…to forget…to find something meaningful again. And each time my enthusiasm was fading again.
So the fear, that I made the wrong decision crept up in me every now and then, that the excitement of working as an estate agent again would be gone even before I really started.
It is still present. Well, as I said, every now and then the fear proclaims its right, but to no avail. Even the back up money, to cover for the next 2 – 3 month, while I might not earn a salary, popped up suddenly today. And I am showing my first property on Saturday.
What a lovely and pleasant feeling when all things fall into place.
And what is the magic behind this? TRUST AND BELIEVE.
And what of all the pales of art and craft supplies? It’s all more or less hidden away in the garage, taking up valuable space, my husband could have used better, and I am sure that I am sooner or later feel the urge to get it out again and create a few beautiful things. Just wait and see.
For now I am into knitting. I printed out lots of free patterns, but as soon as I read the abbreviations and instructions I get discouraged. So I just casted on a few stitches ( I am sure its called stitches) and knitting away, not sure yet if this will be a scarf when finished (I could send it to Frank in Germany, if it is finished before summer or even before he gets back home) or if it will end up into a nice blanket, sort of patch work art. Be surprised.
Do you have tips about how to conquer knitting patterns?
Have a wonderful week ahead.