FOR MY FRIEND MARIANNE KEIL or please help and donate

https://www.facebook.com/cesreikihealing/app_251458316228

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This is Marianne Keil.

Shortly after this picture was taken in March 2014 at Erindi Game Reserve, where we have spent a lovely long weekend together, she was diagnosed with leukemia.

From one hour to the other she needed to be flown from Windhoek, Namibia to CapeTown for treatment.

As this wasn’t bad enough at all, while the doctors had to do a smaller operation while putting a stand for the chemo therapies, she observed severe burning wounds, as this was done by laser.

By now she had receive a bone marrow transplant from her brother and she is doing relatively well and will come home, if no other complications will occur, at the beginning of 2015.

Now the family is burdened with huge medical bills, as the medical aid has been depleted long ago.

To help her and her family to cope with the bills, the Cancer Association here in Namibia founded THE MARIANNE KEIL TRUST FUND. Several events have been held so far to raise money for the Fund. But there is still a huge hole to be covered.

I asked myself what I could do to help and raise money and I found a way.

As I am a Reiki healer, Reiki II, and have a website, blog and online shop, I just added A Marianne Keil Special to my online shop. Reiki Healing Information here.

If you want to help and add to the fund here is a way for people around the world to do it.

If you will buy the special for 10.00 dollars, you will receive a distance Reiki healing session for 15 minutes every week until 31.12.2014 via my Reiki Note book, where I already have a few names in and I am sending Reiki Healing to everybody who is written in the book at least every Monday for 15 minute and sometimes more, as I send Reiki to it immediately as soon as I add a new name

I feel this is a really wonderful idea. You will not only do a good deed, but you will even receive something if you donate to the Fund.

I will pay at least 50 % of all money collected through this Marianne Keil Special offer to the Fund and will keep you updated and I will post all transactions or cheques I will pay over to the Fund here on the blog.

Additionally I want to ask you to press it, re- blog and share this post to all your followers and friends.

I suppose there is not one of us out here in the blogging world who does not know a loved one who has or had cancer, or even died of it.  So please help me here, to be a great help to my friend and family by donating.

If you want to donate and receive the Reiki Treatment, please state your name and one word conditions for what you would like the treatment for, e.g. Marianne Keil, Cancer, or financial, or trauma….. and if you do not want to receive Reiki Healing, please also state it and I will contribute the whole amount to the fund.

For all other Reiki Healing sessions on my online shop and also for the one on ones here for Windhoek people, I will donate for all other Treatments bought and booked 50 % to the Marianne Keil Fund.

Want to do something special, a good deed for others and something special for yourself at the same time? Please buy and book a session with me now, as I only have limited appointments per week available.

 

One more pictures of our trip to Erindi.IMG_2320

Hurry up. Be special all around…..

Love and light

Claudia

 

 

 

 

NEARLY 2 YEARS NOW or 2 different personalities

So here we are again, April again,and my beloved son would have turned 23 on April 14th. But he will be forever 21.

It is 2 years now, nearly 2 years now, he died a month after his 21st birthday, on May 25th 2012.

And so much has happened and changed since then.

We moved again, Frank is in Germany, trying to find a decent study place in the area of Stuttgart and Ralph started working and is more or less happy.

Seems our life is going on, or let me better say it started over, anew.

I should be happy and grateful, as I am flying to Germany in 1 week, but I am not. At least not happy .Why?

I want my old life back.

My life with Matthias on earth.

A happy, content family.

I don’t want to live this life.

I want to be happy again.

I don’t want to pretend anymore. Pretend that I am strong, ok, fine. I don’t want to be 2 persons in one anymore. One who pretends to be happy to make the rest of the world happy.

And one, when alone, so broken and sad, the Mom who is missing her child so much.

One who wants to take the heartache away from the two remaining kids on earth, who might be only pretending as well,  that they are feeling good. Just to protect me.

I want our old life back !!!!!

I thought that I am ok and maybe I am sometimes, but at the moment I only feel sad, unhappy, worthless, ungrateful,crazy.

I am only sitting around staring into space and smoking a lot, only when I am alone.

I cannot even say it is tasty or becomes me well. For instance soothing my nerves or helping me to lose weight, but I do. (this is where the craziness comes in).

I am doing things I always disliked.  And the things I liked, for instance cooking for my family or having a huge Sunday morning breakfast with the whole family are out since Matthias is gone.

I haven’t really cooked a supper for my family, like I used to do. And we are not having Sunday mornings breakfast anymore, except when we have guests. I haven’t read a decent book and cannot find comfort in doing any arts and crafts anymore, which helped me through the first year after Matthias died.  And which I posted a lot here on my blog.

It feels like I am starting at point zero again. I just want to go away and be. Sitting alone in the mountains in a little hut, doing what I want to do, writing, relaxing, staring into nature and just be. Without any worries about others. Just be. And that is where the ungratefulness comes in.

I have a great husband and 2 other kids here with me, why can’t I find comfort in caring for them like I used to? Cooking dinner for them, baking cakes for them? Having fun with them? Being there for them like I should be and used to be? They are all I have now and my reason for going on. But I feel like I am failing for not being there for them as much as I used to be.

On the other hand I know that this is totally crap. I know that we are going through the tough time together, everyone in their own way, that we love each other, but it is not enough for me anymore. I know that, but I cannot feel it as much as I am trying. I cannot find a positive thought, making me feel better at the moment.

And I hope that this is only the time, the dates coming up now, Matthias’ birthday and his second death anniversary, making me feel sorry for myself and that I will be able to pick myself up again and go on with this two personalities of me. The one who wants her old life back, who wants her son back on earth, but mostly wanting her old personality back and the one who has no other choice than to live this life now for the sake of her family, for the sake of her own good.

Fact is when your child dies your life is being separated into two. One before the death and one afterwards. And I must find my way again to live with both. And after pouring my heart out again here on my blog I feel a little bit better and can see the silver lining at the horizon again.

Fact is I lost a lot. A son, a life, some friends and family, who I feel avoiding me,  because of my new life, my new personality, my new me.

Which I did not choose, but have no other choice than to make the best of it.

But I also gained a lot.

A new life, or let me better say a different life.

With people getting closer to me than before.  Who take and accept me as I am now.

Some are old friends, some are new friends.

And as I said before. I did not choose this. But I have to accept it. And so does everybody else. And we have to make the best of it.

Because it is our destiny.

And I am grateful for everybody who helps me along the way and being there for the different me now.

Lots of  love

Claudia530560_4123379884930_1035289007_nthis picture was taken 5 month before Matthias died, when our little world was still whole…….

love you my son!!!!!

 

Best Moment Award (March 23, 2013) | Moment Matters

Best Moment Award (March 23, 2013) | Moment Matters.

Hi, this is another award, I will be proudly displaying in my sidebar and awarding 15 other lovely, inspiring blogs are my absolute delight to do.

Thank you


Best Moment Award, web awards, blogging awards, winners, nominations

Awarding the people who live in the moment,
The noble who write and capture the best in life,
The bold who reminded us what really mattered –
Savoring the experience of quality time.

RULES:

Winners re-post this completely with their acceptance speech. This could be written or video recorded.

Winners have the privilege of awarding the next awardees! The re-post should include a NEW set of people/blogs worthy of the award; and winners notify them the great news.

RESOURCES:

  • What makes a good acceptance speech?
    • Gratitude. Thank the people who helped you along the way
    • Humor. Keep us entertained and smiling
    • Inspiration. Make your story touch our lives
  • Get an idea from the great acceptance speeches, compiled in MomentMatters.com/Speech
  • Display the award’s badge on your blog/website, downloadable in MomentMatters.com/Award

ACCEPTANCE SPEECH:

Hi everybody

I am so proud and pleased that my blog, which is really close up and personal, finds so many readers who appreciates my open heart writing.

It is almost 1 year now, that my son died in a car crash and writing about it as it is, helped me a lot, but getting so many comments and lovely thoughts from all over the world, from ‘strangers’ are so wonderful and you all helped me pushing through every step I had to go without my beloved son. I am really, really grateful for that and I hope, I am also an inspiration and help for other families going through the same or similar trauma and nightmares.

Thank you very much and

be blessed.

Love and light

Claudia

THE WINNERS OF THE BEST MOMENT AWARD ARE: randomly selected from all of my followers

  1. Searching For The Happiness
  2. Make Believe Boutique
  3. the wind horse blog
  4. Seth Adam Smith
  5. Soul Train
  6. Winter Owls
  7. joannerambling
  8. Living Simply Free
  9. 5thingstodotoday
  10. Africa far and wide
  11. becomeanauthor
  12. Fun girls live better!
  13. Parenting And Stuff
  14. Jutta
  15. http://aninchofgray.blogspot.com

Don’t forget to celebrate with your followers! Tweet your success with hashtag #MomentMatters. Congratulations, winners!

GOT AN AWARD TODAY or I am glad you like my blog

Today I have got an award from another blogger quirkybooks.

Thank you so much for this award, which you can admire in my side bar on the right side of my blog.

As I have already got it right to display the award and thanked my nominee, I still have to find

7 things about me, you still do not know yet

1. I am a sagittarius

2. I was afraid of dogs as a child, now  my dogs sleep with me in my bed

3. Even if I am living in a land (Namibia) where everybody gets exited when it rains, I do not like rain

4. I did a Reiki course and will start to practice Reiki soon

5. I have always been a non smoker

6. I have a certificate in Short Story Writing

7. I am trying to become a vegetarian, but haven’t succeeded yet. Tips and help are welcome

Now I have to nominate 15 bloggers for the award

https://dailylifeimpressions.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/one-lovely-blog-award.jpg

1. tales of love and chocolate: from Jutta Dobler, my absolute favorite blog

2. Laurie‘s Pride in Photos blog

3. Jen and her Winter Owls blog

4. The Hurt Healer from Carolyn Hughes

5. Karen Kubicko

6. Living Simply Free

7. http://travelspirit333.com/

8. http://dirtnkids.wordpress.com/

9. Angela Inspire 1 Life Everyday

10. Valerie Valerie Davies blog

11. http://mydailyminefield.com/

12. Zen Doe Windhorseblog

13. http://willcraft4food.com/

14. http://sethadamsmith.com/

15. http://einfachtilda.wordpress.com/

These are all blog I regularly read and they are also following me, a huge thank you for that with this award.

I thank you all for being part of my blog.

A FACELIFT FOR A LONG FORGOTTEN FRIEND…..

Voila,

here is my new, old website/blog with a new face, new title and a fresh approach for me to find lots of themes to write about.

Reading and visiting a lot of blogs recently encouraged me to start anew. This time I am going all the way and getting my own domain and upgrading my free site to a more professional site soon.

This will mean “the blog costs money” so I feel more pledge to stick to writing a few posts a week,  meaning being serious about writing.

Staying focused and practice is essential for anyone who is serious about writing or any other passion.

Previously I postponed writing to when I have “time” to do it, when the time is “right”.

Realizing that the time is never right ,that I will never have time to write, except I take some time and just do it.

So here we are again, writing a blog to practice and focus on daily writing.

More advanced writer recommend setting aside at least 30 minutes per day to write to improve your skills.

So this will be my first goal, writing for at least half an hour a day, either a blog post, a poem, lyrics or a chapter towards my first book.

Dreaming high again?

Yes, but if you have a dream, be serious about it, stick with it, even after some passion decreases, stay focused, practice and in time you can reap the fruits of your discipline.

What are your dreams and how do you focus on them?????